Running off at the mind
Imagining the worst is never best.
A few weeks ago, I was running on my brand spankin' new treadmill, which currently resides in the middle of my living room in Chicago. It's a fairly high-end model with lots of bells and whistles: one-touch pace adjustment, instant elevation options for both incline and decline, built-in television screen. About the only thing this machine doesn't do is run the workout for you.
During this particular run, I found myself struggling early on after setting the pace at four miles per hour (an easy 15-minute-per-mile jog). My heart rate was elevated, my breathing was labored, and my legs were heavy. I slowed the pace down a bit, but it didn't help much. After 2.25 miles, I had to quit. Although puzzled - and a little alarmed - I told myself I was just tired.
The next couple of runs I did were out on the roads. Because I was still worried about whatever had caused my failed workout earlier that week, I took it very easy. A few days later, I got back on my treadmill. But this time it was even worse. Only one mile into the workout, I was really pushing. Yes, I was still trying to regain my fitness after time off for a back injury, but this was ridiculous.
Within a matter of minutes, I had myself convinced that (1) I'd contracted some mysterious disease that was primarily manifesting itself in my running; (2) this disease was going to force me to give up running forever; (3) since I would no longer be able to run, I would be fired from "Runner's World"; and (4) because I would be jobless, I would soon be living in a cardboard box on Lower Wacker Drive. I was beside myself.
Later that evening, my wife walked into the living room, looked at the treadmill, and asked me if I had the elevation raised. Before I could ask her what she was talking about, she turned the machine on and pointed to the display screen. Sure enough, the elevation was set at four percent - not exactly Mt. Everest, but certainly enough of an incline to increase my effort level. Apparently, I hit the four percent instant incline button instead of the four miles per hour button. (Note to self: Wear reading glasses when programming the treadmill.)
I wasn't afflicted with some mystery disease - I was just stupid! And then I added to my stupidity by overlooking the simple, obvious explanations for my problem. In the realm of folk wisdom, there's a saying that applies: "When you hear hooves, think horses not zebras." In this case, I had black-and-white stripes on the brain, big-time.
Maybe it's human nature to always assume the worst. I know that's often the case for me - whenever I come down with the sniffles, I'm always convinced it's malaria. And the thought of not being able to run had set in motion the fear that my whole life was about to come crashing down around me. Somehow it was easier to believe that I was on the threshold of doomsday than to wonder if I had made a simple mistake.
In my running - and in my life - I need to do a better job of holding back the fear that too often defines me. The first step is learning that the best answer is almost always the most obvious answer.
Waddle on, friends.